On a family holiday when we were little, my sister and I were given snorkels to play with in the pool but with the caveat of behaving sensibly with them. To make sure we understood the need to be careful, my Dad told us this story about the time he went snorkelling in the sea and ventured a little too far. He was caught off guard by a wave and breathed in a gulp of sea water accidentally. Coming up for air he was hit by another wave and struggled to recover only to be hit again by another wave. His description of trying to catch his breath and not having enough time to recover between blows came to life as a vivid image in my mind and has stuck in my memory ever since.
Sometimes, I tell clients my Dad’s snorkelling story as a metaphor when they’ve had a series of traumas or painful life events without enough time to recover in between. The visual description helps them understand just how much has happened and why it has impacted them so strongly. It’s sadly not uncommon to have these blow after blow experiences and I find most people haven’t recognised the cumulative impact this can have, psychologically and emotionally.
I am often struck by how much we tolerate as humans and just keep going, get on with it, crack on. Most of us are capable of tolerating more than we could have imagined. Sometimes though, the accumulation and / or lack of recovery time between incidents takes its toll, understandably, and that is a good time to use therapy.
I find myself quite often undoing the notion of what it means to be strong with my clients. Strength is not the same as resilience. Sadness is not weakness. There is nothing stronger than allowing yourself to feel your fears, express your sadness, show your vulnerability and survive that.
But you don’t have to do it alone. This is a good reason to use therapy.
Come and talk it through. Give yourself a chance to catch your breath.